3 Things to Build More Margin in Your Life

Do you feel like you’re constantly on the go, rushing from one place to the next?  Rushing out the door to make it to work on time; packing up from work so you can take the kids to soccer practice; running home to make a quick dinner so the kids can get to bed at a reasonable hour?  Then you collapse on the couch and throw on a show so you can unwind a bit?

My life feels this way far too often.

Part of it is the stage my wife and I are in, where our parenting, work, and social commitments take us in all kinds of different directions throughout the week.  Much of our schedule feels unavoidable—like it is imposed upon us, and we are the helpless victims of our circumstances.

This isn’t true, of course, and we know it.  We could certainly say no to many of the commitments that keep us running around all the time.  We honestly struggle finding a healthy balance allocating our time.

And so my life mimics the rat race, or at least some kind of race; one that keeps me constantly on the go from dawn to dusk.

I tend to call it a “full life”.

As I was talking about this recently with a wise friend, he reminded me of a simple concept in the publishing world.  Margin.

Have you ever come across a book, or a paper someone wrote, where before you read a single word, things just didn’t feel quite right?  Perhaps the font size was too small, or the line spacing was just a little too tight, or the words stretched too close to the edge of the page?

The text lacks the proper margin for our eyes to comfortably absorb the information on it.  It’s as if too much was trying to be said on a single page.

Ever feel like your life is like that?  I know I do.

I find it difficult to slow down, difficult to engage the present, difficult to just stop to appreciate the little things.

It’s as if my life is a story full and rich, but the words are stretched too close to the end of the pages, and my brain gets overwhelmed by the clutter.

And one of the biggest margin-stealers for me is being in a rush.

Being in a rush gives me a shot of adrenaline, makes me feel important and useful, but I find it to be soul-sucking at the same time.

Dallas Willard, toward the end of his life, offered simple advice to people like you and me:

     “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”

Pause for a moment, take a deep breath or two (seriously!), and repeat that message slowly…

     You must

     Ruthlessly

     Eliminate hurry

     From your life

There is a difference between being busy and being hurried.  Busy is OK; hurried does damage to our souls.  Busy is a 300 page novel; hurried is trying to tell that same story in 100 pages or less—it simply can’t be done well, and will result in clutter and confusion.

What can you do, right now, to increase margin by reducing hurry from your life?

I would encourage you to write down three things, small things, that you can do today to bring more life to your soul.

For what it’s worth, here’s my list:

1:  Leave for an appointment when my iPhone tells me to. 

This may seem like an obvious step, but Apple calculates traffic from your current location to your destination, and then pads that number by 15 minutes so you can show up early. 

I, however, tend to take that extra 15 minutes to hammer out a few things before I leave, and then I find myself stressed out during the entire drive that I’m going to hit traffic and be late to my appointments.  Starting today, I will leave when Apple tells me to leave, and then send my emails from the parking lot once I arrive.  I’ll be more relaxed during the drive over, and my mind will be in a better spot all around.  (By the way, I did this yesterday and it made a world of difference—and my schedule was extremely tight, but I made it through LA traffic without a severe increase in blood pressure.)

2:  I will take time throughout my day to pause whatever it is I’m doing and just… breathe.

This will take no more than 2-3 minutes in intervals throughout my day, but every time I’ve done this in the past, it has paid massive dividends to my capacity to handle what comes my way.  I will require my mind to be still, to embrace the empty space on the page, rather than focusing on the words, sentences, and ideas inside.

3:  I will focus more on the scenery around me, especially while I’m exercising.

I tend to operate in pure performance mode, and this comes out most notably when I’m on my morning bike rides.  But if riding is my harp, harps don’t play loud and frantic sounds.  They play peaceful ones.  I will focus more of my attention on the enjoyment of the ride (or the day, or the drive, or the people around me) rather than the performance of it.

That’s it!  There’s my three.  Simple changes that can yield huge dividends.  I practiced these yesterday and went to bed with a mind less cluttered, and a sleep that was much more recharging. 

Now it’s up to you to come up with your list.  Let’s vow to be people of margin, ruthlessly working to eliminate the soul-killing hurry from our busy, full, rich lives…